I don’t know why I felt so pressured to post this today. I’ve pretty much been saying the same thing for years. My Jpouch has given me this life I never imagined possible. The road hasn’t been easy. It’s been long and trying. The surgeries alone made me want to quit, but I didn’t. I’m happy that I have my Jpouch and I’m so grateful for good healthcare and great health insurance for allowing me to get it!
On this day, 3 years ago I had a major surgery that gave me a second chance at life. . Before my #Ostomy, then #Jpouch, I had no life. All I knew was pain. I isolated myself. I hid my hurt and ultimately chose to suffer in silence. I didn’t know what “life” was because I’d been suffering for so long, I was truly just surviving. . I was constantly in and out of hospitals, offices, one apt, one surgery, one failed medication at a time. I thought my suffering would never end. I remember the day I found out my injections weren’t working. Then infusions. I alwaysss try to fight back tears at my doctor’s office. I try to be “strong” and “brave” whatever that means. – But I felt like my body would always work against me. . I remember getting so sick before my first surgery that I laid down on the floor of my house in a ball. I couldn’t move. I was so weak. I thought for the longest I could pray my condition away, when that didn’t work I felt like God and my body betrayed me. . I couldn’t count the number of hours I’ve spent crying alone in my car after getting news that we would have to try ‘one more med’ or that I would need to be hospitalized for *insert any abnormality here* . I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at 17. I didn’t even understand what it meant. – What I soon realized is I wasn’t alone. There are so many stigmas and misconceptions tied to Ulcerative Colitis and IBD as a whole. A major part of the reason why I decided to suffer silently for so long. . At 26, I’m happy. I may not be society’s definition of ‘healthy,’ but I’ve come far. I’m not ashamed of my diagnosis or what I’ve had to endure to get to where I am today. . I’m so grateful for my Jpouch and how it’s turned my life around. * This is not a promo for the Jpouch. This is a promo for you to do what’s best for YOU. *
If you haven’t read my story of being diagnosed, trying (and failing) medications, deciding to go to surgery, ect. You can Read That Here. I also have some pretty cool New Things on YouTube. Be sure to check that out and subscribe!