5 Reasons Why You Never Get Over Miscarriage

5 Reasons Why You Never Get Over Miscarriage

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Moving on From Miscarriage

This time last year I found out I was pregnant. My expected due date recently passed as well. I didn’t know how I would handle it but in hindsight, I think I did okay. Probably because I avoided the topic completely. No friends or family really remembered and I actually preferred it that way. 

Every year Lamar leaves for two weeks for his military work. As he prepared himself for the trip this year, I noticed he looked troubled. He was sitting at the edge of the bed and mid conversation he just paused and looked away. 

After a few minutes he looked me in the eye and said .. “last year when I left we found out you were pregnant.” – This was actually extremely sad to hear, especially coming from a man. His tone and mannerisms said it all; the long sigh afterwards just screamed disappointment, sadness. 

Don’t get me wrong, I know he doesn’t blame me, but just seeing how it affected him, thinking about how it affects me, I just came to the realization, you don’t get over miscarriage, you simply move past it. 


5 Reasons Why You Never Get Over Miscarriage

1. You Always Wonder “What If?”

– I am a firm believer of a life becoming a life at the moment of conception, so of course I constantly wonder what my child would be doing around now, where would we be? What did their future hold? 

The unknown can become bothersome. 

2. The Date Is Engraved In Your Brain

– After you went to that first (confirmation) appointment and your physician gave you that EDD, your life changed. Your life changed forever. You anticipated that date and although you lost your child, your memory and the date still remain. Time passes and every year that date will come. – And every year you will have to live through it. 

3. You Carried A Life

– Whether we like it or not, we created, carried and lost a life. A life you never knew but somehow became so connected (to).

4. Feeling Like Your Body Failed You

– There is so much stress placed on women. We need to look pretty, be polite, work on our bodies, ect. More than anything we are seen as the “baby makers,” mainly because… well the obvious: men can’t carry babies. After miscarriage comes a feeling of defeat. Your body has let you down. It couldn’t do one thing the female body was designed to do. Why you? Why your body?

5. People Don’t Talk About It

– Talking about miscarriage is like the plague. For some reason this topic is always swept under the rug, but why? If we can talk about women’s rights then we should certainly be able to speak openly on women’s issues (like miscarriage). 

 

As always, thanks for reading. Before you go:

Have you ever experienced miscarriage? Have you ever felt this way? Let’s talk on this topic! Leave a comment below with your response and how you’ve dealt with your journey. 

23 Comments

  • Posted March 19, 2017 12:56 pm 0Likes
    by johnnielynn

    I’m so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine the pain it would cause. Or the strength it takes to open up about it.
    Xojohnnielynn.

    http://xojohnnielynn.com/calming-chaos-with-gonoodle/

  • Posted March 20, 2017 4:06 am 0Likes
    by JAYNE

    So sorry you went through this. Thank you for lifting the lid on something that is often kept hidden from view.

  • Posted March 20, 2017 9:17 am 0Likes
    by bladderhelp

    I am so sorry this happened to you. I wish you all the strength and thanks for sharing this!

  • Posted March 20, 2017 12:50 pm 0Likes
    by Valerie

    I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I too lost a baby over twenty years ago, I was almost 5 months pregnant and it was devastating. You are right when you say you don’t get over miscarriage, you just learn to move past it. I always remember the son I lost every April. Hugs and much care to you. xoxo

    • Posted March 20, 2017 3:14 pm 0Likes
      by shawnbethea1

      I’m so sorry to hear that! Do you have any other children? Thank you for reading

  • Posted March 20, 2017 8:09 pm 0Likes
    by Selene Devereaux

    This is so sad to me, but also encouraging because you shared your story. For those who know the struggles first hand and those who have no idea. I hope you all the happiness.

  • Posted March 21, 2017 10:08 pm 0Likes
    by theinvisiblewarrior

    Powerful post. I know so many friends who have suffered through this loss. You are completely right… it does change your life from the moment you find out. I know this is a taboo subject but you gracefully brought this to the surface with so much compassion towards grieving parents.

  • Posted March 23, 2017 2:51 pm 0Likes
    by Lisa Ehrman

    I’m so sorry about your loss. I suffered 3 miscarriages and it definitely changes you forever. Let yourself grieve and you will heal, to-a-point. God bless you and your husband 🙂

  • Posted March 23, 2017 2:56 pm 0Likes
    by altspeaking

    I am so sorry to hear you have had to experience this. I too went through it, and that feeling that your body ‘fails’ you is one I have never been able to fully put into words. Thank you for opening up, I know that’s not easy to do!

    Britt | https://alternativelyspeakingonline.wordpress.com/

  • Posted March 25, 2017 4:40 pm 0Likes
    by Lucy Bender

    I am so sorry you went through this. It’s the worst feeling. Lots and lots of love for you xxxxxx

    lucylovesbeautyxo.com

  • Posted April 3, 2017 9:43 pm 0Likes
    by Stephanie Wynn

    I totally understand your loss. I too had a two miscarriages back to back. I will say you never forget you just learn how to cope with it. I was recently diagnosed with collitis and I truly believe that I was having a flare up during both pregnancies, I went full term on both. God bless you and keep up the blogs.

    Stephanie Wynn

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