The “I Just Want To Be Normal” Blues

The “I Just Want To Be Normal” Blues

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I Just Want to be Normal with a Chronic Condition

As someone with a chronic illness, I’ve found myself using the words “normal” and “healthy” interchangeably. I mistakenly call generally healthy people, “normal.” I say things like “normal people wouldn’t understand” or “normal people don’t know how good they have it.” – Truth is, these statements are inaccurate. And, if it were the other way around, and a “healthy” person said, or even implied that I am not normal, I’d honestly be offended.
Just because you are different, doesn’t mean you aren’t “normal.Theoretically speaking, no one is really “normal” anyway.

Normal is defined by as “conforming to the standard or common type; usual…” When referring to people, what does that really mean? No two people are alike so there cannot technically be a “usual.”

Just because someone doesn’t have a chronic condition, doesn’t make them anymore normal than anyone else.

The I Just Want To Be Normal Blues

With all of that being said, sometimes I can’t help it. I just wonder, what it would be like to be normal. Of course you see now, I actually mean healthy, but I just wish my body operated as the average body should.

Since my surgeries, this is the closest I’ve ever been to healthy in my life. Or was the closest. My body was operating so smoothly (for the most part). Of course my body operates differently, I’m missing organs so it’s only expected, but I was happy.

Somewhat recently I became sick again. I’ve become sensitive to smell, Nausea, vomiting, frequent bathroom usage. To be honest I knew what it was. My immune system is overactive. No surgery will change that. When symptoms started I was well aware of what it more than likely was, but instead of seeing my doctor I decided to take matters into my own hands. I rebelled.

I’m honestly just tired. When you finally get a chance to experience life, do things as you’ve never done them before, you get a little … overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with all of the opportunities, the freedom. The new life you never imagined possible. After my surgeries I was just so happy to see my body functioning so well, I honestly didn’t see a need to go back (to the doctor).  I needed a break from appointments, prescriptions, physicians, ect. I just wanted to get to know myself. My normal, healthy self.

As hard as it is to admit, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have dropped my responsibilities. There were still things I needed to take care of on my part. Things that possibly could have prevented the inflammation I now suffer from and possibly some other symptoms as well.

The Point Is…

Suffering from any condition can be challenging. It’s hard to see others doing things. Things we can’t do. Things we wish we could, no matter how simple it is.

But we have to be responsible. We have to accept and love the life we were given. Live it to the best of our abilities while still keeping our health as a priority. Still being responsible.

As always, thanks for reading. Before you go:

Can you relate to this article? Let me know in the comments below!

1 Comment

  • Posted March 6, 2017 4:30 pm 0Likes
    by katwilson04

    Great post! I too long to have my “normal” life back, and getting used to this new life is sometimes hard going, but you are right, learning to love your life and learning to prioritise is the way forward!

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