We all get angry at some point. Anger management is not about blocking out anger or preventing you from getting angry. Anger management is precisely its name. It’s managing your anger. Your being mad is not the problem, it’s about how you handle yourself.
Personally I have had anger issues for years. Family and even my boyfriend have suggested anger management. I would solve my problems by screaming or completely avoiding the situation. I was one of the more
extreme cases (lol) 🙄. But I’ve learned from my mistakes and have grown a lot in these last 3 months or so alone.
The tips I’m giving you today are real tips that will actually help you. They have helped me tremendously. I’ve spent no money on classes or counselors and yet 3 months (or so) in and I know how to play it cool through just about any situation.
Step 1: Step Back
Learn how to take yourself out of the situation that is causing you anger. Take a few seconds and analyze the situation or conversation. Try to get a good understanding of what is getting you upset.
Step 2: Is Worth It?
When you find yourself in an argument or stressful situation that causes you to get upset, ask yourself, “is it worth it?” Do you have a valid reason for getting upset? Do you truly understand the situation at hand?
Step 3: Use A Number Scale
This I actually learned on YouTube, which I will include more information about in this article as well. The number scale is to measure your anger. On a scale of 1-10 how angry are you?
Step 4: Using the Number Scale, Set Limits
Don’t let yourself get past a certain level of anger. Acknowledge what level you’re at on a scale of 1-10. 5 is your halfway mark. So what’s your angry behavior? Let’s use yelling as an example. Because your angry behavior that we’re trying to eliminate is yelling, let’s make that your 10. Your one is when you feel yourself becoming annoyed. Never allow yourself to get close to your 10. Once you feel yourself getting past your halfway mark you want to pause. If it’s a conversation ask if you can continue it later (until you become better with your managing skills), if it’s a stressful situation, take a break from it. Come back in a few minutes when you’ve had time to cool down.
Step 5: Take Time to Comprehend the Situation
So we’re at your pause. At this point you’re angry. You’re upset BUT you’re not at your 10. You haven’t done anything extreme. Now let’s think.
Step 6: Ask Questions
This can be to yourself, or the person you were having a conversation with. Ask questions to better understand the situation. A lot of anger comes from misunderstanding.
Step 7: Plan
Try to plan out your next move. Plan out your response or how you’re going to handle your stressful situation.
Put it into action.
So of course different things work for different people right? Duh. So I have some tips!
Tip 1: YouTube
If you’re like me, you like free. There are tons of free anger management classes on YouTube! I’ve watched a few. Be open, but these are certainly quick and easy videos and often from paid professionals.
Tip 2: Drive
Driving always helps me to think things through.
Tip 3: Talking it Out
Talking things through can take a big burden off your shoulders. It helps so you’re not making any rash decisions and you even have help!
Tip 4: Exercise
Exercise is a huge stress reliever for a lot of people.
Tip 5: Seek Professional Help
Of course, if you’re extremely angry or endangering others you may need professional help. There is no shame in asking for help. We all need a hand at sometime in life.