If you’re looking for something positive or uplifting, I’m sorry.. This isn’t the post for you.
Im trying to be ‘strong,’ but I must admit, I’m finding it a bit difficult lately. The days that should be my best have quickly become my worst. I’m trying to grab the time I have left in life and do everything I once couldn’t, but every time I’m one step closer, I seem to get many more feet behind.
No. Im not dying. Well, in a sense I am. We all are. – But I don’t think I’m dying anytime in the near-future. Honestly, I’m just tired. Tired of being limited by a condition very much invisible to most. I’m tired of being trapped. Trapped inside a body constantly working against itself. Trapped inside hospital walls. And possibly the worst, trapped inside my own mind. A mind where I desperately desire to be free. To wonder this Earth as if there are no boundaries. As if I’m fearless and the only thing that can possibly stop me is my own imagination. To live as though each day is my last and fully appreciate each and every breath and the mind blowing experiences they bring.
But instead, I am here.
Health Update: It Hurts. It really does.
Recently I took to social media, if you’re on My Instagram, you’ve probably noticed how I could barely get a word out without coughing up a lung. Yesterday, the aggressive, excessive cough became much worse. I was coughing so much that I began to make myself sick. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. All I could do was cough and vomit. Initially I thought this could be allergies or maybe even a cold / flu thing. I tried to wait it out but after over a week, it only seemed to be getting worse. I decided it was time and went to the hospital.
I was diagnosed with Bronchitis. – A condition in which the airways in the lungs, called bronchial tubes, become inflamed. – Something I’m not a complete stranger to. I’ve had it in the past, but it’s never felt quite like this. With all of the coughing and vomiting my throat is super raw. I pretty much have no voice and on a scale of 1-10, the pain is about a 15. I’ve been placed on antibiotics, a prescription cough medicine and an inhaler. The cough syrup contains Hydro so it makes me superrr sleepy. The cough is still there, but I’m trying to stay optimistic.
The doctor said because of my condition and my immune system being compromised, my body isn’t fighting the infection as a healthy person’s (body) would. My advice to anyone, whether you’re autoimmune or not, if you have an aggressive cough that doesn’t seem to be getting any better after a while, see a medical professional. I so so soooo regret waiting so long.
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